thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
