he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Holy sore nipples Batman
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize