You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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