if i can run in heels then i can drive
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I see more hoeing in ur future
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