yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
