Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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