what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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