I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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