wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
