so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
