I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
