Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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