This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
