I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
