nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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