false alarm. still invincible.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Everclear isn't food dammit
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
