I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need to calm my uterus...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
