She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
