Buhtt sex?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
