Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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