This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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