It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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