just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
