im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
