I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
