i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
