He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
