well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
