At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
