dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
