he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
