Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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