I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Buhtt sex?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
