There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
