Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
