I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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