He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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