Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
