I have demons in me.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
