I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
