Sry I called you an 8
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
