do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
