Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just come out here and I will go home with you...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
