There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i was born a porn star she said
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
God, I missed his penis.
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