I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
