you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
