New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My vagina is officially offended.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
