she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
