so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
