how can u be prego again
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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